hey,

ok well so here i am finally online. dad came back from medan so as usual evicted me frm my com which he used 2 play eo. haha wad can i say? as for e lack of updates? well prelims r coming, trying 2 spend more time mugging. or trying to. i'm lyk so falling asleep on the library desks while looking throgh placentation, polymers bla bla bla. u get e drift.

ok man life totally suxs. or rather, wad life. i hav lyk no life at all now haha. y r we e last batch for every bloody thing? BCG (not exactly valid but...) raffles program and even the 3 month break before jc tht would practically invalidate our all so upcoming prelims man. well i guess complaining's not gonna giv me my As so yah no point whining on e whole day. so here i am, going 2 e library everyday 2 mug aft sch. as in lyk almost everyday. wad sort of life is tht? guess tis n-day weekend break is really appropriate. but heh can't really afford 2 waste time can we. i hav tis sense of impending doom tht i'm lyk so gonna die for prelims. not enuff prep. and e fact i'm always screwing up evey major exam in my life no matter how prepared i am.

anyway i'm so looking forward 2 e end of tis yr man. and hopefully i can get into e science stream of rj. budden e future is uncertain so we can't say anything can we? it nvr was fixed or carved in stone. i could end up blowing tis paper up lyk i always do. it'll be so totally demoralizing to see all ur 10 yrs of education being ripped to pieces juz coz of 1 bad paper. all e hard work totally wasted. gone. budden life was nvr fair to begin wif anyway.

i miss so many things these days. i miss being carefree, i miss e times where all u were worried bout was how u performed in sch, or in ur cca. where u din hav 2 bother bout so many things revolving around u tht threaten continuously to overwhelm u. i miss e rush of adrenaline u get wen u're out there fighting for wadever reasons in a national com. e touch of the spirit tht could inspire and elevate u to a high. e times where u spent wif ur friens together, suffering, together, enjoying. i miss e touch of being fallen, of hope, pining, wishing and of desire. i missed the motivation and e driving force of life. but all i can be contented wif now is the company of books and files and notes. and e day i tot i'd nvr see come is looming.

ok anyway at least there has been some consolation. i finally got e elusive singpex gold. but well if i had put in more effort before, i guess tis wouldn't be e first and e last. e irony was so strong there though, wen i sat in e hall of e ceremony waiting for e parilmentary secretary 2 giv out e prizes, tht i still had lyk hardly any interest in stamps. and there i was at some philatelic event among so many enthusiastic philatelists receving a somewhat top honours for a last min job. and wen e vip asked my y water dwellers, i couldn't ans him. i was stunned. i obviously couldn't say oh coz its an easy topic 2 find stamps on could i? so i gave him some ultimately lame reason which i hav no desire of repeating. and if i do get a colours award for tis gold, which usually occurs, i'll be juz bowled over. not wif ecstasy but wif irony of life and of coz e cca system. budden i really wouldn't mind it though. haha. oh yah wei lun juz joined e club too. interesting.

anyway dramafeste juz ended. moor did a great job. so did e rest of e houses. but personally i really lyked ccc's script a lot. really dark, bout human nature, bout us. as for e whole thing, i could say a lot of things about it but well too many feathers hav already been ruffled, no point adding insult to injury wen its all over. sides wad i may say may not please the ears of those hu hear it.

ok wad else?? ulc reunion? hmm. b-o-r-i-n-g. hq propagtanda event. rite now doubt i'll be joining hq but we'll see. enuff rc for a while. chalet got canceled. sec 3s. haiz. i'm speechless. studies, dying. anyway 1 last comment b4 i go. doubt it'll reach e ears of hu i intend it to but well nvm i'll juz say it. part of gd leadership comes frm learning how to let go and to go on. to forget and forgive bout e past and move on frm there. to trust ur successors enuff not to hav 2 supervise and be there anymore. rmb trust. and confidence. hanging on to something which u hav passed on will not do any good.

ok yup tht's all for now. cya.