woosh...

right now lets see how tis day was lyk. for starters, nothing much really went well. it was all a jumbled mess tht i could honestly do nothing much bout. but well we all hav these ups and downs in our journey somewhere and it takes e shape as our hist, our past and seeks to help chip tht marble block of our life tht time is so painstakingly trying to do. so nothing much we can really complain about really?

ok firstly, i would say tht our june holidays r so lyk gone. not tht i'm in any holiday spirit anyway so it's slightly better. apathy i guess. anyway if u throw in tonnes of revision exercises, monumental amounts of make-up lessons, a big exciting common test at e beginning of e sch term and such a letdown cca standdown coz of teacher related probs and u perhaps get a glimmer of the void coming up. and of coz to fantabulastically kick off e holiday mood we hav e nice big fat chi Os on e upcoming monday and my current state of preparedness for it is substancially close to nothing. memory lapse functioning indiscrminately in my neuro-physical self for chinese based characters i guess.

ok we'll go on 2 xplain the amazing flexibility of our teachers during e holis. i still rmbed tht e cca system in ri is supposed to be run by pupil leaders wif e teachers as facilitators. but apparently, tht's not e case in red cross anymore. e teachers might as well take up e post as chairman and the com can be changed to proposal-makers and e namings would be much better designed to suit e responsibilities of wad is left of e com these days. tak for example how our teacher in charge haphazardly revealed our training plans to the entire unit w/o consultation of us after she told some of e sec 3s bout it which translates into a complete disintegration of the teacher-committee relationships and teacher-committee function. or how they come up wif irrelevant ideas for e new com structure in a bid to improve it but r actually creating an bigger opportunity for strife to creep in. or say how they give whimsical excuses for not allowing war games coz a)it goes against e national water conservation plan the government is setting up (even wif rainwater) b) they'll slip and fall on the concrete even though we've done it for so many yrs and no major accidents has happened and coupled wif the fact tht we're playing on e astroturf and field. or say how they take chaerge of briefings or all major events wen or even after we've 2 briefed cadets, often repeating the same things we said. throw in their indomitable spirit to stick so strictly to the rules tht they become stagnant, almost complete siding wif parents all the time, decision 2 disseminate information directly instead of thr the com, long-windedness and impractical values on handling and organising activities and u sure got a handful of really good facilitators.

mymy tht was long. anyway tis results in so many issues: lack of respect given to teachers esp frm cadets, fuctional breakdown of relationship btw com and teachers, almost impossibility to achieve objectives of activities bla bla bla. in summary it leads to a unit downfall. now things hav complicated even further coz well mrs ang is expecting, eg more tempermental and all, ms heng is getting married and all we hav left is a idealistic mr andrew lim hu cannot think out of the setting, frm wad it appears, tht we r not the SAF and we r moving into the future, not travelling back into the past. i hav onli 2 statements to make bout tis: good thing we're passing out on 16th june and sec 3s, gd luck, coz u'll gonna really need it.

long long long. ok now i'll summarise the other less impt crappy stuff tht happened today. well kenneth apparently lost the standard fa badge he was suppose to pass to indra tht i passed to him tht has been passed down frm yuan shao to me and has been wif me for eons. the punch line is tht he lost it barely half an hour after i gave the badges to him. (man i really hav a problem typing the all over again instead of e) had chi xtra lessons on e last day of e term wen i could hav been out watching a good movie plus throw in e fact tht it was so agonizing sitting there wif tiong doing e prac papers tht r riddled wif so many blank statements. fortunately we had e company of som ppl hu helped relieve emotional and mental tendencies of psychological stress and over-exertion. and of coz hu could forget family day wif tht nice box of rendang tht is alll so appetizing -.-" its sitting in e microwave now probably allowing some micro-organisms tht onli glen would noe to complete the carbon cycle coz well, all of us ate at diff places b4 reaching home 2dae.

all right now for the coup de grace: e resolution for the jessie incident yesterday. it was a total absurdity, juz as wad i suspected yesterday. but unfortunately the reasons y tis was dones has been buried in the eternal sand under the guard of a hatchet. here is a rough recount, u can decide for urself how screwed up tis whole thing was for urself. she requested to meet me yesterday, being curious as i stated in my previous entry, i agreed. after reaching seimei, she told me she was at the night market selling goods nearly. i went in looking and she told me now tht she was a hardware shop which practically din exist. and of coz juz as i suspected she din follow e dress plan she choose to implement. (neither did i though) after i requested her to meet me at the entrance of pet safari she completely deviated off topic and told me she had forgotten something (y am i not surprised) and went back. in a moment of folly perhaps? and stupidity i agreed to meet her at her hse with the growing confirmation of the premonition tht tis was gonna be a stupid wild goose chase but since i was there i tot i might as well finish everything up. located in the heart of her housing estate i couldn't locate her hse (duh! its 40 guan soon ave or something) and she got annoyed. wen i reached she refused to meet me and told me to scram which i obligingly did coz i din feel lyk staying for tis maddness anymore. now y would someone go thr all tis trouble 2 play to play such a prank on me w/o revealing himself/herself at the end? wad would be the point of making me walk all the way to a private housing estate and back w/o doing anything else at all? and who did it? if it was not a prank, y did she constantly refuse to meet up wen she initiated the meeting? and how in the world did she find out my name and telephone number? and y did she suddenly get irritated at e end wen i reached her supposedly house and drive me away? and e biggest mystery yet, she claims i gave her my phone no. last yr wen i onli got tis phone no. tis yr. if i did give it to her last yr, she would hav smsed my sis coz she has my old no. not the new no i hav... mmmmm.

tsk tsk. i guess some stuff we'll noe some stuff we'll nvr noe and tis is prob one of em. an enigma nvr to be revealed. one of those secrets tht cling to you and taunt you to unveil em onli noeing they're perpetually beyond reach and enlightenment. anyway tht's all i hav 2 say for now. wish me luck for Os on monday ppl. anyway any1 interested to watch enternal sunshine of e spotless mind or troy wif me aft 31st may?? heh i really wanna watch there movies.

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Thursday, May 27, 2004

ok,

i currently seem to hav an enigma on my hands. perhaps its someone (one of my classmates maybe?) playing a prank on me or it could veri well be someone else. or it could be i'm suffering frm selective amnesia and hav perplexingly blocked out tht section of memory frm my mind. or of coz i could be being lied to. or its a case of mistaken identity where i'm e wrng person who happens to hav e same name as e intended recipient. but it doesn't matter. since my curiosity has been hyped up, i might as well play tis on. if it was true a new frien wouldn't hurt. anyway i probably wun noe e ans anytime soon so we'll leave it at tht for now. tis seems kinda cliche and fictional but well it did happened to me whether any1 believes it or not.

ok so here goes. as stereotypical for everyday of tis week is, i was having xtra chi lessons aft sch. outa e blue, an unknown person smsed me asking if i rmbed hu she (i onli discovered tis later) was. apparently she knows me and my name somehow wen i dun even rmb meeting her. she claimed quite a few things mainly 1)her name is jessie (no reason to doubt tht yet but i dun noe any1 by e name of jessie) 2)she's frm st nics (as far as i can rmb i dun noe anyone frm st nics) 3)we meet last yr on e mrt where i gave her my no (her xplaination but tht's lyk sooo not e way i would behave) besides tht she was xtremely evasive in her conversations, often giving veri short ans to my questions tht she selectively choose to ans and coming up wif reasons lyk she forgot how we lyk meet supposedly. highly dubious if u ask me. e most intriguing part was tht she wans to meet up wif me. y? for no reason until further probing results in e rather illogical ans tht she misses me. =S now tht's ambiguous and totally bizarre. i din ask for further elaboration on tht though.

anyway if its all a sham i would lyk 2 meet e ppl pulling it off and y. if its not, i would definitely wan 2 meet tis mystery girl and find out e truth on wad's going on. i'll trying not to be so skeptical but tht leads to so many unanswered qns floating on e edge of my mental vision right now. who e heck is she? how come she noes me? wad's up wif meeting me all of a sudden? if i meet her last yr, y din i hav her no.? or y is she asking me 2 meet her onli now? mmmm. well we'll wait and see. sometimes life can be so full of surprises.

ok today was another day stamped frm e same rubber stamp as yesterday was. so exciting huh? cept we watched e contemporary version of Romeo n Juliet for double keen. if i understood more of wad they were saying, there weren't so many disturbances (changing of class, 4H coming back in e take their stuff) and our class had chosen to be more considerate and let some of us watch e show in peace it would hav been better. in e end it was still alright i guess but as i've said it once, i've said it a thousand times and i'm sure my class would agree wif me tht ms tang is suchhh a good teacher man. and yes, i din take today's maths test. it's been postponed to next week for tiong and me *yeah!* due to e upcoming chi Os *boo!* seriously i hope chi Os can be over and donw wif ASAP. its becoming e bane of my life for now juz lyk how i noe e rest of e other papers would be as well.

now wad else is there? nothing else new cept e fact tht i'm hungry, dead-tired and probably on e brink of falling ill again. yeah tht's bout it. adieu ppl.

The Lost Soul |6:11:00 pm|

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Wednesday, May 26, 2004

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

i did tis quiz a while back but was not in e mood/couldn't be bothered 2 post my results. now tht so many ppl r posting it tot might as well post it as well. call it psycological pressure frm peers. call it boredom wadever. it really doesn't matter does it? well i'd juz say its rather accurate but den again anything tis general can't be half-wrong can it?

if i could juz clone my day frm yesterday, or the day before, it would probably fit in perfectly as an entry. juz another day. nothing special. almost superfluous. another day gone by flashing wif no meaning, no impact and no remnant of its existance save a online entry of perhaps a few miserably words. life presents itself wif fewer and fewer opportunities to learn and grow these days. perhaps we r so blinded by the impending Os or rather the chi Os looming around the corner for me. so blinded so as to stop bothering bount the subtleties and minute details and focus mainly on an intangible and lofty aspiration tht i do not enjoy and appreciate.

of coz there r e ever resilient tests to constantly bug us wif their repulsive existance of our academic commitments and expectations. one after another, they fall and r completed, only 3 more arising to take their place. tak today's eng common test for example. in a rush of adrenaline and confounded stupidity, i probably screwed e paper up. hopefully i'll get some relatively substantial results, but tht again is a bubble of a dream resting on a thorny bush. bah. i'll juz wait and see.

perhaps my sanity is being subconsciously erroded by the build-up of stress on a spring. maybe one day i'll snap. desirably not. but the knowledge of the future is remote to all, we can onli wait and watch as it slowly unfolds itself. meanwhile i would lyk to apologise to leon for my slightly irrational behavoir recently. a thousand apologies. slightly psychotic yes but well hope u can tolerate it. =P anyway tht's probably bout it.


...........
to kenny, well admiration is not needed seriously. i dun deserve it. maybe tiong hwee but not me. i can onli speak for myself. life's nvr been fair, sometimes we r forced to do things beyond our control and against our bidding. we hardly do hav a choice. i'm, u could say, a victim on consequences. consequences for forsaking chinese. consequences i will hav to undertake and live with. given tis choice, we can choose to ditch in every last bit of strength we hav and be contented wif wad results we obtain, or we can totally let go and relinquish everything. i cannot bear to live wif the latter, noeing tht i had chosen to give up instead of try. therefore e former is e onli feasible option so yah tht's wad's happening. and tht is well not exactly veri admirable coz it wasn't based on a desire to excel but rather or a lack of choice and making e best of a bad situation.
...........

The Lost Soul |9:14:00 pm|

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Tuesday, May 25, 2004

man,

i just realised how bothersome life can become if ur com gets conveniently infected by a virus. abosulutely disgusting. e scaning itself is already bad enuff now toss in a totally unstable os and a sluggishly slow connection speed and loading time, u get one hell of a prob coz of 1 dumb trojan -.-" apparently my com got infected on sunday, right b4 my dad had 2 leave overseas which left me 2 clean it up myself. as if i hav tht much time . my dad did scan e com and clean up my com but it wasn't completely clean so everything was still problematic. furthermore e scan had 2 paused 2 ask wad i waned to do wif e bloody trojan it found and paused e entire scaning process, which defeated e purpose of leaving it overnight. wow. and wen it reached some certain file e whole system hanged. wow. wow. so now i'm stuck wif a half-done half-scanned com which i'm praying sincerely will work after i deleted tht trojan. (apparently everything seems 2 hav stablilised but den again i dunno coz my dad informed me tht apparently he might hav had some virus encriptions saved on tis com to study as part of his job related to net security: which perhaps means i deleted e wrong file) ok tht's it man, i'm so waiting for e day i finally get a com tht's MINE. as in a com i can do wadever i wan wif it.

yeah today attened NSW eng. ms tang had 2 sign me in for shang(i dunno wad his name is) coz he was absent, which isn't exactly a bad thing considering e fact tht i hav completely nothing 2 support wad i wrote for language abilities and intellectual abilities. e paper was quite ok i guess, hopefully i'll score well enuff to produce some presentable product to draft into my testimonial. maybe i shld hav participated more actively in NSWs haha but well reminiscing over it wun help.

alrighty, besides being late for chi tuition, nth elsed worth of mentioning today happened today. mmmm. not tht i can recall anyway. unless of course u count all those lame stuff we did in class out of pure boredom and youthful energy in excess. yestderday was probably juz as bad and dry. excluding e fact tht assembly was at least e slightest tag interesting mainly coz of all e jokes we were making bout it. it was bout copyright and illegal song downloading. e host gave out free cds during the QnA session and it was rather funny to watch some ri guys shamelessly contest for e free cds. not tht i'm trying 2 be derogatory in any sense but well it was juz plain amusing. and hilarious.

ok anyway recently been tinking of cca choices in jc(hopefully rj) ever since the talk wif wei lun on saturday. right now i hav a few choices to make mainly a) whether i shld join a sport (mainly fencing) and meet up wif mf and e j1s again) b) whether i continue my relunctant role in philatelic club (i hav no interests in stamps wad so ever but since i'm here i might as well continue rite? maybe not) c) whether i shld listen 2 wei lun's promotion and join e fa service club which isn't such a bad thing coz i already have a foundation base of fa (tis of coz would eliminate all e ug sections of it which many people have a fond distaste of. sides fa duty isn't tht bad) d) try to get a councillorship (which i'm considering) or e) try and join interacters. of coz councillorship, interacters and all would mean no sport cca or rather councillorship would practically mean almost no other cca. but well tht's still miles away so i dun really hav 2 bother bout it anytime soon.

right now it seems i hav 2 major papers coming up. an eng one tomolo for common test and a chi Os retest nxt monday, which leaves e interesting qn of y i'm still blogging now instead of say working on my horrendous spelling or pathetic chi. boing. anyway hopfully i'll do well, esp for chi Os, otherwise it'll be such a waste of effort. and tht'll mean more stormy seas to endure. sign.

ok gotta go pack my stuff, there're all over e floor. *bish* tomolo's another long day, another droning monotony in a cycle of vicious repetitions that lack freshness and ingenuity to capture and motivate e essence of human spirit to excel and to drive oneself for self-improvement out of borne desire. *ok wad e hell is tht?* ahh nvm... being totally crappy here. ahh so sleepy now. *yawn* gonna fall asleep on my com if i continue writing. ok, bye ppl.

The Lost Soul |10:38:00 pm|

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Sunday, May 23, 2004

boing,

sheesh i dun seem 2 be getting anywhere. urgh been studying e whole day but haven covered much. ahh help. i juz can't stardee at home. after a while starting fiddling wif my pda or start hugging my dog den start doing dunno wad other stuff. tis is bad. Os r wad? next week after tomolo and i'm still liddat. juz can't find e bloody mood to study at home.... bleah.

ok yesterday founder's day. suxs suxs suxs man. we were eating at kfc and i was lyk looking at e menu. turned around toked to nicholas a bit and realised my phone was missing. tot i left it on e table but wen i checked it wasn't there. asked zaidi to call and guess wad it was off. surprise surprise. shit man. my deduction is tht it dropped outa my pocket and a bunch of secondary school kids (punggol seconday i tink) who were leaving at tht moment took it and disappeared. tis is lyk totally sordid way of losing a hp man. sooo screwed up. but well its inevitabily my own fault tht tis happened anyway. sign. so now stuck wif e old 7210. line number not changed though. i already got e replacement sim card. actually not having a hp may not be a bad thing. my mum can't irritate me all e time by calling incessantly. lol.

ok e actual founder's day wasn't tht bad. e parade segment went on quite smoothly yeah. yours truly, e parade commander, din screw up =P actually it was quite well done la. compliments to all those hu took part in e parade for all ur efforts. but well e sch as usual doesn't recongnise it as much. more attention and appreciation were given to e sports display rather den e parade ppl. ahh well not can't really complain since i chose to agree to take up parade appointments anyway. ok e hall ceremony, well din really pay tht much attention. no 1 came in late; had to change up. no 2 i was so tired after e parade so ended up dozing most of e time no 3 well it was rather boring to me la. anyway after tht had refreshments. it tasted quite sucky compared to e food at e reception. it was onli later tht i realised i was formally invited to it. -.-" yah. anyway it din really matter coz there was quite a lot of food. after tht ended up toking 2 wei lun bout RJ life in e sick bay. left at 9+ wif wei lun and was lyk he was telling me rather interesting stuff bout rj. rather attention-grabbing actually and so much surprising stuff haha. apparently, life and inter-personal politics complicate much more. until u adjust tht is. but e change and complications may not necessarily be a bad thing though. depends on e way u look at it and e result it brings for e different personalities of each individual.

oh anyway we watched shrek 2 on saturday. e sec 4s at least while giving e marching contingent a loonnggg break. it was rather good actually. veri funny wif all its jokes on fairy tale characters and other movies. alien, haha puss in boots was xtremely funny, and cute wen it(he rather) gave u tht innoecent, mournful look. =P anyway i could copy and paste a movie analysis right here but tht would be pointless wouldn't it? go watch it. quite good movie. but e onli thing is tht e themes r rather similiar to e original. on e surface its bout fighting fer ur right to love but on deeper analysis its morebout fighting and going against traiditon, fighting fer ur own destiny, fighting fer ur own right to choose. anyway i was laughing bout almost e whole show. anyway here's a small extract of it. i'd tot of putting e innoecent cat face but well, so many ppl hav it up already haha =D

ok back to mugging. or least trying to mug. bye...

The Lost Soul |3:50:00 pm|

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Friday, May 21, 2004

wahh,

man y is blogger giving me so much probs? first couldn't view any blogspot web den took forever to log in and open up e posting page. bleah. my com's behaving strangely too. maybe bout time to get a new one? *smiles* haha. i wish. nope not e time nor place anyway. besides it'll be rather idiotic coz it'll still be in mym room :: the room my parents r using coz e air-con in theirs spoilt. irony. -___-" lol nvm.

yes so today was so tired coz of yesterday's band concert. went wif vanessa and well e class probably started fabricating far-fetched fantasies bout her and me being an item. haha big joke. and nicholas and patrick even considered e possibility tht she was my sis... haha. ok i shall say it well for e last time after all e xplaining yesterday night and its up 2 u wadever u choose to beliff anyway: she's my mum's secondary sch days best friens daughter and i've known her all my life. i meet her bout once a yr so we're quite close yet quite distant altogether. rather peculiar relationship actually haha. oh and i discovered kenny and her were classmates. e world's a small place =P ah so u guys dun hav e be so overly curious la. oh anyway tht reminds me. i saw urm.... wj at city hall mrt wif someone too. heh. no wonder he din turn up for band. but nvm not much of a big deal anyway.

yah we went to eat at city hall tink outa e pan of something -- yes crepes. which was quite exp n not veri filling. heh. (yes i noe vanessa u din eat anything cept fer chocolate ice-cream) but well anyway we meet jonathan outside later (i seriously din see u jonathan so dun blame me for daoing u). anyway e performance by RIMB was great man! totally awesome. quite worth the money and time. of coz besides e fact tht e clapping was pathetic and e emcees were so lame. haha but wad can u expect frm imran and azizul as so to speak? but it still rox anyway =] good job and oura was quite cool, as well of some of e band members. haha they're soo, soooo animated and urm melodramatic wen they play their instruments. *no offence juz a statement* after tht her and me went to e esplanade and toked by e river b4 going home. or rather until our parents kept pestering =P heh wen i reached home was so tired fell asleep lyk almost immediately.

2dae had a looonnnggg day coz there was tis chi compo wiritng class after sch till 2+. went 2 tampines to get a hair cut... for founder's day tomolo. yah needed to buy a new stylus too but they come in sets of 3. so was lyk -.-" marketing strategy man. now broke and guess wad. i haven pinned up my uniform wow... nvm there'll be a lot of time tomolo doing nth. good as well, can practicing some commanding. i hope i dun forget my commands or anything haha but highly unlikely la. (yes i noe it sounds a bit ego but well i seriously tink so anyway haha) oh yes tht reminds me, i can make use of e chance to polish my boots. might as well rite??

boing boing. shall go offline now. cya ppl. until founder's day:

ring ring....
hello?? hello??
*silence*
-huh? huh? huh?-

okok tht was lame. >.<"

The Lost Soul |9:25:00 pm|

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Wednesday, May 19, 2004

hello ppl,

juz got back after founders day. yeah full dress 2dae. went much easier tis time round but unfortunately din hav a drill cane. hq onli had 2 to lend us -.-" so yah used e npcc coz e ncc pace stick was well too heavy and impractical. sides i dun hav tht funny pocket 2 hold it in place. anyway rich got suaned by some indian teacher coz he spiked his hair and it was slightly brownish. lol. hopefully i can get e BB cane anyway. its supposed to look nicer. boing. oh yah, tis time e other pe teacher stopped commenting on my commanding as much already. which is a good thing i guess. juz tht there's one lil prob. where r e gep sec 4s (excluding jasons and clarence of coz)?? i'm so sure they all couldn't mak it fer founder's day. geezes. mmmmm... oh yash finally passed clarence his present after so long. lol.

wad else happened today? oh yah during eng lesson, we went to watch some event boys can cook too coz i propsed it 2 ms tang. *shakes head* not tht i'm upset over it but haha nice way 2 spend eng lesson. seriously ms tang has too much time. e sch management shld redo their time tables haha. oh and i realised ri boys can't cook at all man. dun noe wads a bit of chili -.-" yes they poured a bit(the whole container) into their dish and they haven gotten e faintest clue of wad a celery is. god. e food looked nice but well tasted horrible. i sampled a bit, hopfully wun get food poisoning or anything haha. anyway apparently according to my frien, i was caught on tv sampling food -____- lol. anyway e results were crap. after much deliberation, everyone was joint first wif all grps getting 50 bucks ntuc vouchers. y am i not surprised? *rolls eyes*

oh and ss topic on education was such a government sterotype kind of qns. c-r-a-p-p-y writing propaganda man. good thing i din stardee tht much anyway. oh e monkey came back to our class in e morning. haha maybe as jonathan said its permanently attracted to haisong. lol. oh my class has recently gone crazy over pda games too. my pda more specifically. they're using it more den me =P a result of boring lesson.

wad else? guess tht's bout it. rimb performance tomolo. hope it'll be good. right now so tried. wished i could juz go and sleep. anyway no test fer e rest of e week. yeah. and unfortunately there's a vector test nxt week. so gonna die haha. tak care people...

The Lost Soul |8:12:00 pm|

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Tuesday, May 18, 2004

ok man,

tht was totally shocking man. how badly has e sch system degenerated? i mean is there such a need 2 put so much stress on ppl, even over-stressing them, to the point of mental exhaustion? but even tht isn't a veri buyable explanation. she's a veri experienced teacher having taught in st nics and rgs b4 surely even stress frm sch management wun hav tht much effect? i mean sudden emotional outburst juz lyk tht in e middle of class is for no apparent reason at all is well, freaky. but i salute her dedication to teaching. somehow i feel there's something more troubling her. something veri personal tht probably has a veri big impact on her life. yet she continued on even after tht episode, despite e awkward and embarrassing moments fer her. she continued teaching in class, fulfilling her duties and well overcoming her ordeal. and yes some ppl really need to learn more on how 2 deal wif ppl. i mean u dun go asking her in front of everyone y she cried rite? man bryon... even if u were concerned go approach her outside class la. giv her some consideration and breathing space man. if tht was u, u'd feel worse rite? more humiliated. more mortified. more discomforted. but well wad's done is done anyway.

i do seriously hope tht ppl in our class dun go around spreading it negatively to everyone bout it and i do hope ppl hu hav read tis will not openly go about gossiping bout it as well. touchy issue. plz be considerate and at least appreciate e fact ur chi teacher may be facing some probs so be nicer to her man. she's a compassionate and highly committed teacher. juz look at how she stays back almost everyday to giv ppl chi xtra lessons man. haish.

ok i guess i died fer lit test anyway. but den not tht really surprising la. ss test tomolo on education. yup den no more test fer e rest of e week and e term maybe? but there's still e chi Os on 31st may. sometimes i still reminisce about tis lost opportunity. wonder bout how my life would hav been diff and will be diff and get a sorta inferiority complex on e fact tht so many ppl got their a1 but not me. haish but anyway its over so no pt crying over spilt milk is there?

anyway on e bright side of things tiong hwee seems 2 hav his comdition stabilized. well more or less at normal levels anyway. yup there's a potential donar in japan and 2 (or 1) not as compatible ones in taiwan. rite now he's waiting her results frm e us yup. if all goes well he shld be able to do e transplant in dec after Os and he has his medical cost fully insured. so yah its e best outa of tis misfortune. he deserves tis new chance at life anyway. he deserves it i guess more den a lot of ppl. anyway keep him in ur prayers ppl and giv him ur good blessings.

ok anyway lets see. sides e ss test there's still founder's day parade tomolo. full dress yup. hav to pin up my uniform tomolo. oh yes i still hav e edit my testimonial again and send it 2 mr kwa coz i din do it yesterday. -.-" also yah happy b-dae to u sean. haha sorri forgot to wish u in class. anyway how was troy?? apparently there r so many potential movies coming out tis yr and it has 2 be in e yr of our Os. wow. ahh well wad can i say? ok tht's bout it. chill ppl.

The Lost Soul |7:34:00 pm|

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Monday, May 17, 2004

mmmm,

y r my weekends so busy? they seem even busier den sch days man. tsk tsk. and i promised 2 stardee chi on my weekends but well... unlikely.

swim carn and hse carn on sat. wow go hullett. lol. but well at least we did put e time 2 good use. and ms heng does hav an interesting way of interviewing ppl. cept tht once someone starts tis way. everyone will continue tht way so mmm. dunno wad exactly she infered though. rather interesting 2 find out. anyway i shalln't bother 2 comment bout fa duty. simply it wasn't good.

yeah den we went fer a long walk in macritchie. meant fer e sec 3s. well they sorta din plan it properly though. we had to tell em sooo much stuff. i dunno how they're gonna tak over. anyway there was tis point where e shallow river was flowing in low tide and i was lyk trying 2 get to it. well unfortunately i stepped on some seemingly hard ground but well it was mud and my whole shoe or rather half of it sank it. -.-" so fun. and later fer some reason we climbed a viewing tower. and made so much noise man... haha. well wad can i say?

sun... mmm went fer some aids awareness thingy. din intend to stay but well there was some management probs so ended up staying. i wun say how educational it was coz i din really listen. but well dor maam came up 2 me and said my cadets din noe how 2 wear their uniform. omg. she also commented tht tht 4 of our cadets din wear belts. wow. so honoured *bish*. i gave her a satisfactory reply tht we were awaiting replacement though. haha.

anyway e most interesting thing was tis guy hu started toking to us b4 e thing started. he talked bout all sorts of stuff. bout meeting perverts at century square (yes i noe its crap) to e fake fainting stunt he pulled on his frien to criticism of some religious beliefs. raymond teo i tink. he gave me a receipt and stamped his name on it but i kinda losted it i tink. oops. so evil rite? haha. yah and he stayed back e whole time but well i was a bit kinda trying 2 avoid toking to him. well... found him rather well intriguing.

today boring sterotypical day. yeah. oh aft sch chi was a killer man. frm a 1/2 hour meeting my teacher had 2 go to turned out 2 a 2+ hour meeting. wow. oh my testimonial is so blow up haha. if it gets through i really dunno wad to say. serious.

lit test tomolo. poems. great. so excited. i can't be bothered to memorise e poems man. there's still e eng compo to write. and i'll edit some stuff on my testimonial to mak it longer bah. haha.

countdown to chi Os: 14 days :: i'm sooo wanna totally get over wif tis.

****
omg. wad the hell was tht man. i was reading jonathan's blog den suddenly there was tis deep loud explosion. its not thunder. -.-" reminds me more of a bomb exploding =S dunno. and there was tis vibrations running thr my room too. but everything outside seems normal. maybe someone's microwave exploded. weird. did anyone else hear it??
****

The Lost Soul |7:17:00 pm|

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Friday, May 14, 2004

Angst. You are an angel of angst. Once one of
water. But your depression has caused you to
become an outcast. You love to be by yourself,
as it helps you think. You have always, and
always will wonder what has gone wrong. Your
soul has been shattered, and your wings are in
peices. But that's just you. You spend your
days searching for something. Not someone.
Though you don't know what you are looking for.
You don't even remember who you are. And are
always trying to find that person, yourself,
your soul. Which seems to have been misplaced.

But. When you find what you are looking for, it
will become clear. All tragedy will be ripped
from your wings, and your true colours will
show. And then, you are the most powerful of
them all.

Hang on, keep looking for it is there. Just try not
to loose all you hope and become nothing. For
you are truly beautiful.


What Type Of Angel Have You Become?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Lost Soul |8:56:00 pm|

all right,

tired as usual wad else am i besides tht these days? anyway 2dae was well mmm i dunno a bit crappy i guess. ok maybe a lot. and i'm getting pissed off by e sec 3s as well now. tsk tsk. dunno wad e heck they're trying 2 do.

ahh testimonial due on monday. wad e hell, how in e bloody world r suppose 2 compliment urself man. sheesh i'll probably get grossed out writing bout myself or something. if there's anything i can't write, well its bout myself. overdone flattery isn't something i'm exactly comfortable wif. maybe some kind souls can help write one fer me and i'll copy paste and edit e stuff haha. but well we dun hav a choice anyway. either tht or being frank, i'll choose e former. so nothing 2 complain bout. and man daniel quek's testimonial is absolutely amazingly filled wif stuff... makes me feel lyk i've done nothing at all. -.-"

all right, e sec 3s really need change their mentality man. all they do is dream. they envision the start and the end but can't coordinate their middle steps w/o us pushing. or can they try 2 help themselves for their own good. well some really need a reality check. big time one man... applying fer post wif so much responsibilities wen they can't even manage themselves. ask em 2 fall in they tak us fer granted till we shouted at em. ask em 2 keep e sick bay clean. they try insubstantially den giv up. they din get e hint tht if 2 ppl can do so much, a whole com can do even more. ask em to change 2 half u, they take forever and some din bring boots pants pe shirt bla bla bla. wow. so blown over. not a veri comforting sign. they as usual tink they're ready to tak over. unfortunately realistic views and idealogical views differ more often den not. sign.

ok founder's day commanding is gonna be sooo fun. so much stuff 2 rmb and well need more practice. first run through was ok but after tht, my voice, well, died. haha. ask e ppl there... oh i needa slow down my commanding speed. too fast according 2 mr j wong. well not my fault exactly coz all e while we've been doing it liddat. anyway toking bout mr wong, he made me go get him a loudhailer(wadever u call tht) and mr azhar made me coming into e pe room again and again coz i forgot sir(S) and all tht. LOL. lyk it matters THT much. waste of time... crappy. anyway yah besides our sec 3s displaying sloppy standards and of course most of e sec 4s disappearing during training (worse still i saw either one of e mok twins at j8 later and they ran off -.-" god.) and some sterotypical rugger comments situation and my voice dying it was ok i guess. but now so shack...

oh after tht went wif zaidi 2 get clarence a b-dae gift. if it weren't fer his LDP group i wouldn't hav known. and trust me 2 be wif him fer 4 yrs already and not noeing while his ldp grp came all e way frm nanyang and some other sch 2 giv him their present. tsk tsk. so ashamed. anyway yah zaidi and i shared a gift. some anime figurines. hopefully he'll lyk em. anime crazy clarence, i wish u happy b-dae in advance.

oh yah i missed my tuition thanks to parade prac. chi tuitor will be so pissed. well wad am i suppose 2 do? PC skip it? haha oh well. ok maybe after tis i'll go watch van helsing. =P on vcd. or maybe i'll juz go to sleep. chow ppl...

The Lost Soul |7:30:00 pm|

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Thursday, May 13, 2004

dusty!!!

phew. spent e whole afternoon redoing e sickbay decor wif zaidi. dumped A LOT of useless stuff and completely shifted e furniture. bye bye old and retarded unusable stretchers that are completely spoilt now due to e firedrill on saturday... bye bye tonnes of boxes and other irrelavent paper materials... haha well maybe we dumped some evidence of our hertitage along but well wad e heck. i doubt it'll make any negative impact. in fact e sickbay looks much better now. *=P self-praise lol* yesterday if u walked in u'd tink there be no space fer say 10 chairs but today well. its a completely diff story. and u'd be surprised at e amount of dust accumulated man... geezes. ddduuussstttyyy. tot i was gonna get sick or something. which isn't tht bad coz tomolo there's founder's day parade prac and phy test. urgh. ok yah and we also had interesting encounters wif a lizard and a surprising large bee. lol...

ok yah enuff bout e sick bay. today was damn crappy man. bio double maths double eng den physics. onli thing interesting was e physics demo after sch. soo cool man. electromagnetism demo heh. it's tis kinda things i wanna see and learn for science man. not wad ac generator and dc motor. tht's so boring and dry.... well tht'll onli be revelries of my deraged imagination w/o e clovers and e bees. lol. i'm starting to sound a bit lyk u kenny haha.

ok man. i really gotta say tis. sometimes ppl try to much to help and interfere they complicate things up. well tak today fer an example. apparently my tic has always treated us as sorta p sch kids. well in a sense tht she wans to do things tht e com shld be doing herself. perhaps she doesn't trust us. perhaps she feels its too impt and she needs to personally be there in order to deliver e importance of e message. budden tht's a reflection and self-confession of lack of trust isn't it? well no 1, she is handling everything related 2 e candlelight memorial herself. tht shld be handled by e sec 3s. no 2 she took 2 initiative to inform e sec 3s of our plans tht were suppose 2 be kept in secret and meant as a surprise. y? coz perhaps she felt e sec 3s shld be given a chance to bla bla bla. she din consult us and now 6 months of work has gone down e drain. simply in a nutshell coz she took matters into her own hands wen she din understand e whole situation. mmm tis prob has been going on fer quite a while already. ever since mr ling left which sorta means things r harder 2 accomplish. i can write more stuff but well tht's not e pt izzit? i tink i'll get zaidi 2 go tok 2 her after we pass out. so much stuff 2 tell her man. hopefully e sec 3s will hav a proper time. haish well now we can onli salvage e situation.

ok man my dad is sometimes sooo irritating. geezes. he uses the com to play eo lyk e moment he gets home till dunno wen so its lyk i can't use it 2 come online or anything sianz. but tht's not e worse part... e worse part is wen he gets super pissed off over a small matter tht can be solved wif a calm attitude and he showers his fabulous temper all over my mum, my sis, my cousin and myself. haish everyone will get so worried and upset until it blows over. yesterday was lyk he lost a piece of paper wif some bank account no and everyone din dare say anything 2 him including my mum. and she was lyk sooo worried wen she heard wad happen coz she might hav packed it away. i mean man can't he juz control his temper esp towards my mum?? mmmmm. well wad say do i hav anyway. he provides me wif so much stuff i dun really hav any right 2 criticise do i?

ok la tht's bout it fer now. needa study fer physics. dad came back he'll prob start playing soon. =S tomolo's gonna be a bz day. juz hope i wun be late fer chi tuition... haha yup. yawn... really dun feel lyk mugging...

The Lost Soul |7:25:00 pm|

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Monday, May 10, 2004

hmm,

finally covered my weekend phew. today was well bboorriinngg. wad else man? sterotypical long day... nothing much really. will get down 2 mugging once again wen i'm finished i hope. I HOPE. haha Os r coming....

ok well i got 1 thing 2 say to e jason and jin yu. well i noe u've contributed quite a bit yah. jason probably more. zaidi and i waned 2 let it slide but well mrs ang insisted we'd punish u. u may tink i'm hypocritical but i dun really care coz tis is how i feel. well anyway those stuff r well ur way on contributing back fer e lost time la... i tink its more practical and better den writing a report huh? but well we're trying 2 be as fair as possible yup. we dun lyk doing tis but i guess we hav to now. sorri. anyway somehow i feel jason is gonna do 90% of everything but nvm.

anyway on e spur of e moment. decided to buy 2 band tixs. haha yah now hav to find somebody 2 go wif me yup. e price to pay fer rashness. apparently i'm on an event spree as well. last yr already. go fer everything la haha. but after e blazing glory of e setting sun, u feel so sick of e darkness again. worse den b4. e void is there wen e spirit rush is over, wen u're walking back home, walking back into life. is it worth it i do wonder some times? well i guess it all depends on how u see it. everything is fleeting. so yah juz seize wadever chance u hav 2 enjoy life i guess. flowers fade. people die. the sun sets huh? well at least it sets in a blaze of glory. tht's wad i tink. yah.

ok enuff crap. sick of writing so much... back to life and mugging and more mugging. i can't wait fer tis yr 2 be over man.. cya

The Lost Soul |8:32:00 pm|

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Sunday, May 09, 2004

lalala,

i'm on a blogging marathon man... so crappy.

all right sunday ORA walka-jogathon or however u spell it. oh met nicholas and jason on e train. and later mr wee. haha. liyong u noe mr wee complimented ur writing skills? =P and ur i-learning din do tht badly after all those funny stuff u added in too. lol. did i mention e t-shirt looks ugly????

ok. e jog or rather walk was well rather urm... i dunno. interesting? lol. we were all walking so slowly den abel chong ren wei kwang and joel decided to well speed up a bit. till 7-11 of coz wen aw and kwang went to 2 get some stuff den din see em after tht. yah it was soooo sianz e route if not fer e fact tht i kept on teasing abel haha. oh abel did u noe tht at 1 pt of e route at e rg bloc rite wen u past there was some rg gal tht exclaimed leacher? haha. i was lyk totally wad e heck is she toking bout man lyk we waned to buaya or anything..... lol. din noe if u heard anyway =S we walked till bout ulu pandan cc den ran e rest of e way yeah.

and e food and fun fair was well quite pathetic actually. i expected a bit too high maybe? nth much to do there. lucky draw was a pity fer samjo. he missed e top prize by 1 number and i missed e 7th prize or something by 1 number too. haiz. apparently none of e ri guys got anything, cept zhao yu budden he urm... haha. nvm shalln't say. yup was walking around wif manyan most of e time. bugged by edwin and eugene 2 buy stuff. and eugene conveniently changed me in ora coupons wen i bought something frm him haha. got cheated... yah so manyan and i were toking most of e time rather den doing anything else. oh yah later went in to e slaughter hse wif xin cong and his other frien manyan and her friens din wanna go coz it was too exp yup. haha den there were these bunch of rg sec 2s in front of us they went in and were so freaked out tht they were to scared to move so we waited 4ever to go in. -.-" serious. anyway wen we went in i were lyk urm not too bad la. but we weren't freaked out at all. cept maybe e rg sec 1 frm e other grp. haha yah.

ok yah left at 10.30 wif manyan and 2 of her friens we meet b4 going into e slaughter hse. urm a certain geraldine and jia rui if i'm not mistaken. interesting geraldine is reaginal's (dunno how 2 spell his name) brother. and jia rui noes quite a bit of ppl in my class. (yes jonathan i realised she told u everything already. =P) yah well had to go home early. so yup. bought a rose fer my mum b4 we left and it was diagnosed quite dry but hey.... i can't pick flowers der nuts haha. yah was slacking bout at home till 4+ wen my dad asked if i waned 2 go 2 bugis wif him. i agreed well... which was a mistake i guess.

ended bout walking around doing nothing coz my dad was entertaining his 2 ex-colleagues. visiting frm thailand fer a training course yup. din do much. din get anything either. juz ate quite a bit and burnt my tongue. urgh. and and there was e standard stuff going on wen working ppl meet. office politics come into play geezes. can't stand tht man. haish but wad can i say or do?? nothing. ahh well. yah tht was bout it... lousy way 2 spend ur afternoon and evening sunday...

The Lost Soul |7:56:00 pm|

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Saturday, May 08, 2004

wow,

tht took longer den i thought. nvm sat and sun wasn't really tht busy.

today woke up late fer training. apparently, my sis woke up and offed my alarm clock and she din bother waking me up. urgh. was late fer training. din hear it ring coz, well i was too shacked frm yesterday night yup. geezes... such a good example man.

trng well as usual e sch admins is totally screwed. they gave us classrooms meant fer e tuitor scheme. geezes can someone do something bout tht? are those admin ppl paid to do admin? so y are they so bloody irresponsible? tis is lyk e how-many-millionth time already. besides tht and e fact tht everyone was in rc uniform and it was at a slower pace den normal and tht i tooked e key frm e sec 3s coz they left it lying around trying to see if they noticed and they ended trng late, trng was generally ok. tht is if i ignore e fact tht we had a case of a sec 1 losing his shirt and taking another guy's... and e way mrs ang sorted it out was well. not veri bright. n jason and jin yu leaving half-way during trng and jason telling her he was in e rc room wen she asked zaidi if e rc room was locked b4 tht. haish. saddening... bud den our term is ending soon yup. e sec 3s will inevitabily hav 2 noe bout all our probs anyway and i pray it doesn't repeat in their batch man.

ok after tht went to cathay 2 check wif lost and found. apparently wen i asked some cleaner guy bout it he shouted at me coz he said he wasn't in charge of it and gave me a lecture too o_O so much fer singaporeans being helpful and honest eh? can't even ask a qns politely and get a polite answer. geezes wad is society becoming man. so self-centered.... din find it anyway. nvm la i guess. yup went home after tht den went off 2 bugis 2 swap my earphones. apparently my mum was also at bugis -.-". sianz. ok la it wasn't tht bad. bought some new clothes yup *smiles* but well i'm afraid 2 go out wif her coz she's one of those well... slightly self-focused typical singaporean shoppers. sad to say seriously but can't stand her some times. she picks on 60 cents stuff but does spare a second thought wen it comes to decorative stuff at home. geezes. ok yah weng saw me at bugis but i din notice her. haha. so i'm blind la...

yah tht was bout it cept tht my mum nearly got into a quarrel wif e sony guy coz he was reluctant to change my earphone set yup. and i was lyk oh man again... oh yah dug out my sis's copy of sing 2 e dawn and finished reading it wen i got back. i still hold my sentiments fer e play though and e story as well. rather beautiful and touching story. a tale of e struggle against society and tradition. bout how perserverence brings about a change and how one person is well in control and can control one's own life. but well i dun really feel lyk doing a theme analysis here. time doesn't suit my purpose anyway... oh my dad came back frm medan and e fantabulistic lake there. lol. and he coped e com since e moment he got back which means... no com fer me. bleah. yah tht's y i'm onli blogging now...

The Lost Soul |7:32:00 pm|

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Friday, May 07, 2004

hello.

ok i probably hav quite a bit to write so yah i'll split it into 3 entries yup haha. tis one's fer friday.

ok today's e day we celebrate world red cross day yup. sign as per normal, most of e sec 4s weren't there fer e morning parade and din wear their uniforms. well wad can i say? its become a cycle already. every year tht happens and every yr ppl change up b4 e day ends too yup. onli a few lyk bothered. nth much u can do bout it really i guess. well it rained anyway fortunately there was no hall assembly yup. so we took our pledge in e atrium. unfortunately npcc too which meant tht all their training fer rifle drill went to waste. and yah tht made it easier as well coz e sch din hav 2 stand at e astro turf waiting fer 2 speeches haha.

had a realli slack day. chem made aspirin. cool. its tis kinda stuff tht makes lessons interesting again haha. enuff va and qa fer a while man. getting sickening. bio test.. tink did relatively fine. hist went to lt to listen 2 a true account of e cultural revolution. quite educational yup sides e fact i was late coz some guy hurt his foot and i had to dress it and i fell asleep a bit during e period. e speaker (she's a teacher rite) well, haha all i can say she's veri animated =P *bish* den was cca verification and rushed to e lt 2 review e prelim paper...

ok shalln't write too much if not i'll be blogging e entire night haha. ok after tht went to watch a movie wif xw. (shalln't state ur name here. some ppl were already bugging me fer it) it was either dawn of e dead of 50 first dates but since 50 first dates had a better recommendation, we choose e latter. den went 2 eat dinner at yuki yuki. MAN i'm nvr going back 2 tht restaurant again. its extremely exp and e service is disgusting. and they dun even serve u ice water. oops sorri wrng choice i guess. sorri. 50 first dates well rather ok la. quite interesting idea fer a comedy but din really hav me laughing tht hard. haha but overall it was quite ok yup.

after tht went to watch e rp production. xw was heading fer a violin concert and e esplanade and yah ho chuan saw us together at e mrt. well well wad can i say? wad goes around comes around. haha. anyway yah apparently every1 knew i was out wif xw and made a fuss over it. thanks abel haha. wad i dun quite understand is y ri ppl r so hard up wen ppl go out wif a girl. i'm not e onli victim btw. =P ok was there i realised i left something at cathay. ahh nvm. back on topic, e production was quite professionally done yup except fer 3 things. no 1 most of em can't sing. i tink they were too ambitious to attempt a musical really haha. no 2 well i tink e rgs actresses outshown e ri ppl sadly which aren't as talented. no 3 i dun understand y they choose sing to e dawn yup. its a beautiful and touching story but well there are other more beautiful and touching stories. maybe coz it was e most suitable musical wif a script they could get their hands on? haha. anyway it was still quite good overall. anyway cheng chai ur last appearence rox!! LOL.

yeah we hung around after tht doing absolutely nothing. juz walking around drinking a bit den going home -.-" yup. singapore has NO nightlife man haha. and we were so dumb. lol. tht was bout e whole of my friday in a nutshell yup.

The Lost Soul |7:06:00 pm|

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Thursday, May 06, 2004

happy birthday to me,

haha yah its my b-dae today. sweet 16 yup. NC 16 movies haha!!! finally. yes yes i noe its a bit late -.-" (i can juz imagine jonathan suaning me haha) but better late den nvr. din really tht interesting day though. seriously felt lyk almost any other day. =P oh i would lyk to thanks everyone hu rmbed my b-dae too. yups.

anyway ok well. got back my chi prelim marks today. yeah! got my a1... pleasent surprice. ok now i got inspiration 2 mug harder fer Os lo. haha den still blogging ehh? bad cedric. anyway yah will worker harder and try 2 get a1 fer tis june paper. i really appreciate my chi teacher fer putting in so much effort yup even though e xtra lessons r sickening, they help haha. bout 25 more days left. yup. its now or nothing i guess.

ok screwed my chem and maths test today i tink. but forget it. its over. there's a bio test tomolo. gotta study later. still gotta pin my uniform. rc day being celebrated in schs tomolo so yah. hopefully it'll rain haha lol. save a lot of trouble. rc and npcc and chem later is a long prac too. u dun neda be a psychic to predict e results. haha. anyway seriously rc day has become more den a burden den anything. some ppl dun even noe bout world red cross day. some ppl dun wanna wear their uniform for even 1 day. some ppl can't be bothered. ahh well. anyway its e world red cross day. so hopefully ppl will realise tht rc is something beyond footdrill, push-up and first aid. its an international humanitarian society tht transcends geographical and cultural boundries. it presents aid to those hu need it on a humanitarian basis. not something u poke dun at juz coz e singapore division or say e ri youth division is not up 2 ur expectations.

anyway yah i wonder really wad so special it is about ur b-dae. haha. e novelty fades off after all tis while i guess. =P so wad if its ur b-dae? u still hav 2 tak ur maths and chem test. still hav to go fer chi lessons. still hav 2 go stardee fer bio. it does still bring a sense of joy and wonderment though... ah well. anyway my b-dae wish fer tis yr?? hmm haven really tot of tht. maybe perhaps 2 understand more bout life and my meaning in it bah. haha. rather intangible... =P

ok gotta study fer bio... buaiz and take care...

The Lost Soul |8:17:00 pm|

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Tuesday, May 04, 2004

hmm,

well sometimes i look at my life and feel i haven really accomplished anything. i mean seriously its been 15 almost 16 years and wad hav i done? wad hav most of us done? sch. competitions. house. cip. wad else? all these bring about juz a rush of adrenaline. a moment of estacy and wen its over it gets lost in e wheelings of time. u r juz another one. another person. another student. how different r u frm e rest of e ppl out there? not much really. effectively no one will rmb u say 20 years down e road for most of us... juz a thought.

ok summary of today. had 1 proper lesson and e rest of e day was crap. went for chi tuition afterwards and yah tht's bout it. chi is getting esp annoying these days. maybe coz its being forced down. maybe coz i'm bias and prejudiced. but i dun quite get e gidst of chi and i've more or less lost interest in it comepletely. unlike sciences and all where i'm partially interested at least, i feel nothing fer chi man. esp e way we're preparing and testing chi nowadays. rather pointless dun u tink? shldn't a language be learned thr expression and integration into our lives? shldn't it be learned as a culture and tested thr our understanding of it? y den can u study a language? i means its totally off track. look at e way ppl study chi nowadays man. juz e shou che and tht's it. its getting sickening esp since i hav a prob rmb e words wen it comes to phrases. ok so my foundation isn't there but its e onli subject i feel repulsive wen i hav 2 study it. all tis fer one certificate.

which reminds me. i'll be 16 in 2 days time and i've haven really got one lifeplan sorted out. haha rather sad. i haven even drawn up a plan fer Os yet. budden even if i do it'll be juz chi chi chi now so it doesn't really matter. i noe i wanna to rj but i haven really decided on e subject combies. most likely it'll be triple sciences and maybe economics. but its still all so vague. i'll probably ask some of my seniors soon. time 2 find out more anyway. interestingly and sadly, i'm starting to lose interests in most of subjects. maybe e teachers r trying 2 orientate us into exam mode or something but after doing sujata's poem i've realised i've stopped questioning a lot. i stopped asking y tis and y tht and well science is definately more interesting den e other subs but it kinda lost its flavour. becoming more concerned over how i'll do my Os den say e actual mechanics of things. take chem for example. yeah QA is cool but there's so much of it to prep us for Os. i tink its getting dry.

den on to e big picture. was reading jonthan's entry as well and since i was here i decided to write it anyway. wad i wanna be in e working world. and wad choices r there. seriously i tink i'll either end up in e science sector or e economics sector. tht's explains my jc choices i guess. budden i'm not even sure if i enjoy those things. humans side lyk journalism is cool but not for me. law? well i haven really considered it. doctor? hmm rather cliche rite? scientist? haha interesting job but boring as well in a sense. but i dun tink i make e cut. i dun quite lyk e picture of staying in e r&d lab all day long nor i tink i would be committed to do extensive research on say e evolution theory. psychology may be an interesting choice though. but myself as a psychologist? haha rather hard 2 imagine. i doubt my hr skills r tht in-tuned anyway. den economics? dunno y i even consider tht. but i juz can't seem to ignore it though i hardly noe anything bout e corporate world. finance manager -.-" lol. interestingly there's tis supposedly prediction of my future for me to do well in e commerce sector by a fortune teller tht my mum claims is veri accurate. but i'm skeptical.

mmm. no pt going on la... i'll juz stop write here. still got some stuff 2 do yup. ok fer now its reality check and back 2 chi...

The Lost Soul |8:00:00 pm|

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Monday, May 03, 2004

yoz,

ahh so tired today. feel lyk going to sleep rite now. had a reall long day. but tht isn't really possible in sec 4 i guess. besides i'm starving and waiting for my dinner =P

ok weekend lowdown: i completely wasted it. did nothing besides watch e billboard awards on sat and accompanying my sis to parkway to buy a cd on sun. and my mum had to go top up my ez-link card wen there was still quite a bit of cash in it. -.-" so there i was having to go digging for coins and ez-link cardless. and er wasting a lot of time messing around wif pda games. was so bored couldn't even touch e com. dad came back frm medan (dunno how to spell). he hooked himself up wif my comp lyk almost e entire time he was back since saturday morning playing elysium online and lyk i din even get a chance to do anything. of coz i din bother to stardee haha no mood so yah. e reason y i'm online now is coz he's gone back to medan again. sign.

ok today there was some speech on career guildance. seriously i tink it was totally boring and almost useless. man if e sch cannot find something productive for assembly i'd rather they juz give us 1 hour of free activity or something. lyk e stuff he told me will be of much use. so yah we practically spent e whole hour poking fun at him as his speech until a cockroach invaded e area and benjamin so pleasently stomped on it haha. yah we moved after tht. duh. lyk hu would wanna sit beside a dead roach. oh and kenny was rather funny wen he went shouting and screaming over him. almost rolled over wif laughter. haha.

yah after tht had to run 2.4. sianz tot i would skip it but jeff chan forced us to run anyway. lyk i'm in any shape. haven been training and after 2 weeks ago wen i was sick e entire week, it would hav been a miracle if i made a good timing. tot i'd juz giv it a shot but in e end had a bad stitch half way and wif some help frm guang hao had a pass. so there goes all e trouble i put in fer my 5 stations. haha sad. nvm i'll train and get a gold during e retest =P if i do decide to bother tht is haha.

urgh chinese is getting sickening. i'd better start mugging again. enuff break frm prelims already. Os not tht far away. haiz e chi lessons aft sch r so tiring. yah personal attn true but i dun really tink its making a big diff. nvm i'll still go fer em. a little help might go a long way. 1 more month until chi can finally be over fer tis yr. muz bear wif all. yup.

after chi lesson went bugis looking fer earphones. sony. haha call me overly brand conscience wadever. i still tink sony earphones r more trustworthy den say i-reaver or panasonic. dad had a lot of influence over me on tis part i tink. haha. tink i'll buy em on wed. finally found out wad's e diff btw flat sound and boosted and warm sound. a bit late i noe. haha. of and e sony mp3 player is rather nice too but e price is even nicer. stop dreaming ced u can nvr afford it. not now at least =)

yeah dinner's back. going down to eat now. den back to mugging and doing tuition hw. sianz. tis is e life lol... fortunately looking forward 2 tis week. despite e 3 tests coming up i hav some appointments on fri and thurs is my b-dae! (hint hint) finally can go watch nc-16 movies. finally haha.... and my cousin can stop suaning me. =P

The Lost Soul |6:55:00 pm|

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